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12:14 a.m. ~ 2003-06-06
a seat at the bar tomorrow night ill go to my bar and he'll go to his. we'll each meet our own friends and settle into different cities. ill sit at the table with the people i meet there every week. they know nothing about whats going on in my head. ill listen and smile and be 1000 miles away. actually, 27 miles away, to where he is. the ones who know me really well will look into my eyes and sense somethings off and ask whats wrong. of course ill reply "nothing" and raise my glass for another sip. drink until im buzzed and am able to laugh without forcing it. the dj will play a song that makes me think of him and ill think of texting him the lyrics. i know he'll smile. its on these nights that i miss him in a painful way. i want to get up and dance and signal to him where hes sitting at our table, motion for him to come up and dance and when he does he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my face with the softest lips i've ever felt. instead ill dance with my "every weekend" friends, ill dance...and drink...and let my mind wander across the water. and i'll wonder.
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