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10:31 p.m. ~ 2003-09-25
not your choice anymore enough nonsense, i figure if anything is meant to be...then i should stop trying to fuck around with it and let it be. all this effort and confusion and me just not getting anywhere-ness has got me twisted and its really begun to affect my focus on other things, and other people. i cant remember when i began to focus on him, i do remember when i said i wouldnt but that all changed because it only took him 30 seconds to melt me and be happy and then be bored? change his mind? say i did this because you said it couldnt be done and now im done too. ...blech. i need my friends and this weekend is geared for that. tomorrow night heading to nj to see one of christines friends band play. i heard they were pretty impressive and i hope they are because last time we went to this place, the music was horrendous at best. saturday night is a co-workers going away party and an extensive farewell has been planned. lovely, the rest of us all get matching hangovers.
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