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8:30 p.m. ~ 2003-06-15
get out of my head about a half hour after posting my last entry he calls. i think he really knows me too well. he catches me by surprise. we only talked for a few minutes, says he was pissed because i didnt call him. (what is it with these people this weekend? anybody else that is unsatisfied with my phone call return rate please take a number and get in line) you see folks, what we have here is a breakdown in communication. but hes not really mad. and it felt so good to hear his voice. and tonight we'll kiss and makeup over the phone and ill feel great going to sleep. after hanging out with someone else. so i guess i know how he feels, and it must be the same as i do. i have trouble keeping that in mind. that there are two sides to this story and both are equally important. i have to get my head out of my ass and realize that i need to contribute too, that my actions determine outcomes as well. this morning i listened to a cd i havent picked up since last summer. it instantly brought me back there and i smiled remembering various events and people the songs reminded me of. i smiled because things were simple, my plan was clear and i had no intention of straying from it. this winter shot that plan to bits and my new plan...well i dont have a new plan. im kind of just wingin' it, i guess. i met him this winter and it was like a spark. i saw him in the spring and i still felt it. and we have been through some serious shit. that tells me something is there and ignoring it would be a major mistake, because when was the last time somebody made you feel like that? i cant remember. tonight i join my friends at chrissy and todds party, they throw one every month. they're fun and i have fun. but whats really funny...i rather be on the phone with him.
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