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7:03 p.m. ~ 2003-06-21
you could be my punk rock princess, i will be your garage band kid i am the epitome of what a "not a morning person" is. i can stay up all night and be fine at 530am, as long as i have company or something to do, im all smiles. now, if you wake me up at 530am, it is not advisable that you stick around. jon called at exactly 530, i guess making his drunk phone call, which i support wholeheartedly, when im already awake that is. i was sleeping off my own drunk peacefully when my pillow began to vibrate. and then blare a stupid ringtone from my phone tucked underneath. i think i mumbled hello and he knew that i had been passed out. i heard him laugh before he hung up and wished him goodnight into the receiver. he was gone already, probly fell right asleep nice and easy after a long night. and ive been up ever since. i couldnt fall back asleep for anything. i cleaned my disaster of a room, organized some cds, watched some early morning tv, usually any of these activities will disinterst me enough that i can fall back asleep in a short time...but this morning, no such luck. and on my day off. i drowned my sorrows at dock street last night and really had a good time. a weird mix of people milling around the bar. 80's punk rock misfit wearin pink mohawk chick kissing a guy with an atticus tshirt. a surprising number of people from work also hanging out, coming to see toms band play and being encouraged to stay by the $2 buds. jeff and i left after their set, freshly buzzed and hungry. went on a mission to find french fries but no decent places were open and there was no way we were going back to that diner where we had the pickle incident. next best thing: homemade. i think we're doing much better. maybe this time talking about what we want to change from each other will stick long enough for us to figure out how we feel before discouraging any relationship repair. our vacation in august is all booked (tumbleweeds blowing through my bank account at the moment but i so need this break). hes really excited and keeps showing me all the activities we can do and how romantic the hotel looks being right on the beach. maybe this is all we need, a break from our life here. from the people that surround us and work and our families. we get along so much better when we're not stressed out. the past few months have been emotionally taxing and all i want is some happiness with somebody who expects nothing from me but being good company. and thats all i want. to talk and laugh and enjoy our time together, like in september...2001. the flowerpot and i have agreed that seeing each other has put additional confusion on our plate and i get really unsure of how to act when im around him. on the phone, i have no problem joking around and talking about whatever comes to mind, and the conversation is smooth. actually being with him makes me nervous...then i wonder if he can tell how different i feel.
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