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11:29 a.m. ~ 2003-07-05
he makes me melt like a popsicle on the fourth of july the plans are made for either sunday or monday night. dinner with christian, possibly in the city, he wants to be alone to talk. finally. he called last night from belmar, from our friend robs beach house and explained his silence for the past two days. because of keith, he felt uncomfortable that he was at my house when he stopped by, he thought we would be alone. well, dinner will be just us and he can say whatever he needs to say, whatever it is that prevents him from being unable to talk to me when in the company of people that for no reason, intimidate him. inwardly i thought that was a little funny because its rare to ever see him falter and last night he seemed so vulnerable. im being mean. this was the first 4th of july i didnt see any live fireworks, just the ones from the macys display. we had to mute the sound because that music they selected to play along with the fireworks was just making a mockery of the whole holiday. "im free to dream in a million different hues?" cmon... im feeling restless today, im shying away from sitting in my yard, my skin still an unflattering shade of pink from laying outside the other day. everybody else at work, i dont know how i schemed getting today off but kudos to me. now what? first some food to settle my stomach, i should be sweating tequila from the 24 hour margarita fest i indulged in the past two nights. yes, english muffins and excedrin, breakfast for hangovers. love your body right.
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