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9:43 a.m. ~ 2003-07-14
woke up with a start breathe i just woke up sweating and my heart pounding, totally disoriented and scared. over a dream i cant even remember. last night i had a hard time falling asleep and stared at my ceiling for what felt like hours. its getting harder to sleep without you. breathe while laying there i thought, as usual. when i lay in bed i do my best thinking, or at least my most thorough. i think of us together, i can plan out what each party is supposed to say and every puzzle piece fits. i have it all figured out. then you hit me with something i didnt count on and im left speechless. breathe i wish you wouldnt complicate things so much. i wish i could count on you acting the way i expect, the way others would act. because then i would know. but then i guess i wouldnt be so intruiged by you. because im just so intruiged by you. breathe those words you say to me are brand new and not like anything anyone else would ever think of telling me. and you tell me what i want to hear even though i didnt know it. thank you for letting me know. but now the rest cant compete, i compare it all to you. its becoming so difficult when all i think about is you. and no one else can compare. breathe
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