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3:49 p.m. ~ 2003-07-15
sdrawkcab-backwards i think fate just likes to see me look stupid and constantly contradict myself. especially here in this diary. i will write about one thing and the way i expect it will pan out and then the next day the complete opposite happens. we began with concert dates. if he would be joining me in seeing john mayer one day in august. it is certainly a possibility yeah i know it is, thats why i asked if you wanted me to buy the tickets or not. that was it on my end. *ohhhh, speaking of concert tickets, dashboard on 9/5 @ roseland. i am just giddy with excitement* i was ready to sign off and go about my non important business on this day off, but he started asking advice on girls and what they meant when they say certain things. some girls are crazy, you have to watch out for the beautiful ones and so for almost an hour and a half i gave my opinion on his problems and he gave his own with more questions that followed. and after a while i really was determined to get off of the computer but i stayed until he said he had to go to the gym. you see chris, they have this site on the web called diaryland, its a great place to vent out all these feelings, especially ones about girls because for some reason its making my chest tighten talking about this stuff with you but im not honest enough for that... i just do the next stupidest thing...see as follows: ill talk to you later (here it comes) if you're not doing anything tonight, give me a call k ill talk to you tonightish i really have been pissed at his behavior lately, sunday morning just compounding it furthur. and then today, to just carry on like nothing ever happened. and then to invite him to hang out? some girls are crazy, you have to watch out for the younger ones now judging from my recent experiences we will not be hanging out because that would be following up on something i said. fate laughs the reason i dont let anyone from my circle of friends in "real life" read this journal is that i do not wish heart failure on any of them. never ever have i gotten so worked up over little things. i didnt have to because my actions never made me second guess myself. i would be the one calming others down and giving the advice. now i come here and turn into one of those girls i always pity. remember when i said i wouldnt? fate laughs.
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