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2:58 a.m. ~ 2003-07-29
expired as ive mentioned before, the flowerpot used to keep a private journal, one separate than his normal everyday entry one, and only two other people had the password other than himself. i was one and the other was a friend he confided in about me. since he wrote alot of his entries about the current situation of our tumultuous relationship he really didnt censor his feelings or his words, they were written as they came out and rarely edited. in a few cases, the words were harsh (though well deserved) but he explained that after being written, the words kind of expire. they only represent what he felt at the moment and cannot be held as to what he definitely would be feeling the next day or even within the next hour. i would like to add that kind of disclaimer to my own journal here. if this diary's purpose is to serve as a recorder of thoughts and emotions it performs the act of preserving. what it cant express is how quickly such things can change as they are changing. it only shows what is pieced together from my head when i have a moment to sort it out into something coherant and readable. sometimes that cant be done at all. sometimes what we are feeling needs a day or so to simmer inside of us so its not so painful to express. by the time this happens, the passion that fuels these emotions may have faded and been replaced by fresh ones. so this diary becomes more of a checklist. i felt this, this and this on this day at this time. and any time after that is subject to change.
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